


Legend

by supergirlshero85



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Blood, Burns, Cutting, F/F, Self-Destruction, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-02-13 15:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supergirlshero85/pseuds/supergirlshero85
Summary: Alex's Danvers is a federal Agent, Supergirls sister, bad ass. She is also loving caring and funny. After breaking up with Maggie she sinks into a dark place. Being a trained agent has taught her well. She hides all the pain during the day then punishes herself at night. She has everyone fooled around her. Everyone but a certain blonde Captain that seems to know exactly what Alex needs and when she needs it. Can Sara save her before it's too late?  This has some very triggering scenes so please read with caution.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for all the comments and Kudos they encourage me to keep writing! Hope you like this chapter. Less dark more Alex dealing with her issues.

Alex knew she couldn’t always lean on Kara once she was single again. Kara was hurting too but it had always been them against the world. After a hard case, Alex found herself not totally dreading game night. Least with her friends, she could forget for a while, however as she turned to go find Kara she heard, her and Winn talking.”

“So you sure Alex is working late tonight?”

“Yeah, so we can see Maggie no harm no foul. We will do game night on Friday.”

Hearing her sister say they were hanging out with her ex-was like a punch in the gut. While she didn’t own her friends or sister it still hurt. She already lost the bar she had once considered a hang out barely going with the gang when they went. Now it seemed she was losing not only her friends but her sister too. Not wanting them to know she had overheard them, Alex turned and left the DEO the backway. Since there was no game night tonight she headed home grabbing a bottle of scotch on the way. 

Walking into the apartment Alex locked the door before kicking off her boots and heading over to the couch. It was funny nights like this these always sent her mind back to the night when Kara was under the influence of Red K.

“Without me, you have no life.”

It was sad but so true. She only got invited to Barry and Iris’s wedding because Monel had been a jackass. Even now they would rather hang out with Maggie then her. As her thoughts went even darker half of the bottle of scotch disappeared. Drinking wasn’t working it wasn’t making her numb. Finally getting pissed at herself Alex tossed the empty glass watching it shatter against the wall. She just needed to be numb so she could push these feelings away. No one needed to deal with her not anymore. She wouldn’t be a burden. Picking up one of the shards Alex thought back to the dark time right after her dad had died. 

She was so upset mad she couldn’t think. Then one night while cooking she had dropped something and got cut. She didn’t really remember the details but she remembered the calm she felt as she bled. After that night she hid away in the bathroom hurting herself every time things became too much. That calm was what she needed now. Picking up the glass she pushed down her pants and as she sat back on the floor she robotically pressed the glass to her pale skin. Dragging it along until blood appeared. 

It had been so long since she had done it the pain was a shock but soon just as she remembered her tears stopped and she could breathe again. Wanting it to last Alex cut a few more lines into her thigh before sitting back and letting sleep take over. If she hadn’t been so wasted she would have thought better Kara could have walked in on her and found her. But luck was with her and the next morning she was still alone when her pounding head woke her up. 

Groaning Alex pulled up her pants before cleaning the mess. Once the scotch was put away Alex took a shower cleaned her cuts then got dressed and headed to work after stopping for Coffee. It was a quiet day so she spent most of the day in her lab waving off Winn’s invitation to lunch. It was probably a pity one anyways. When Kara came in with lunch for them Alex lied and told her she had already eaten but agreed to sit with Kara while she ate. She had to keep up the facade. Kara was happy again that’s all that mattered in the long run.

“So game night tonight you will be there, right? I think Sam likes you.”

“Yeah sorry, Kara no can do I have a date.”

Alex lied quickly. Kara to happy to hear her sister was moving on didn’t notice the sadness in her brown eyes.

“A date that's great you have to text me all about it once you get home!”

Kara said before taking off back to Catco. Alex hated lying but really she hadn’t totally lied. She did have a date. With a half bottle of scotch and a bad habit. Alex didn’t have a long time to wallow in self-pity. Just as she had turned back around the alarms were going off signaling it was time to have Supergirls back as they caught a rogue alien. It took a few hours but as the work day came to a close Alex and her team walked the Alien into the Deo and down to one of the holding cells. Closing him in Alex dismissed her team before grabbing her stuff and leaving. 

Hungry after not eating all day Alex got some dinner making sure she ate it before she started in on the rest of her scotch. While she was a mess she knew she needed food. If she didn’t eat Kara would know something was wrong and there was no way Alex was going to be a burden to her not anymore. She has chosen to end it with Maggie and of course her friends well Kara’s friends wanted to hang with Maggie. Maggie was funny and outgoing everything Alex wasn’t. 

Feeling herself sinking back into her uncontrollable level. Alex poured herself a big glass of scotch. Like the night before she drank until she was crying then she cut until the tears stopped. Only this time she cleaned up and put on her pajamas before heading to bed. This was Alex’s life for the next few weeks. However to everyone else it seemed Alex was dating a new girl and happy. She was a good liar no matter what her mom said. 

Alex was planning another night of self-destruction when she heard a familiar drawl. 

“Hey there hotter Danvers you miss us?”

“Mick, what are you doing here?” 

Alex asked as she walked over to the man giving him a hug to Kara and Winn’s surprise. 

“Actually we are all here Danvers.”

Sara said as she walked up to the control room. 

“There was a time aberration with future weapons in Aliens hands… Plus it gave me a chance to see you, Alex.”

Sara said ignoring both teams curious looks. 

“I was hoping after we stop these rogue aliens you can show me around National City.”

“Sounds like a plan Lance come on I will introduce you to my boss.” 

Alex said as she steered the blonde away from their teams and down the hall to J’onn’s office. While he didn’t know all the details from their time on Earth X he knew the legends had helped save Supergirl. In his book that made them family. After short introductions, the Deo and the legends worked together to get the weapons from the future back. No surprise they were in Cadmus’s hands and it had taken a bit out of Alex and Kara even Sara got a little hurt. Nothing too major and before they knew it they were back in the DEO getting stitched up. As they worked on Alex Sara noticed that Alex fidgeted when the doctor went to check her leg out. So much so she had pushed herself off the table promising she was fine. Then she walked off before the doctor could call her back. Kara who was still under the sun lamps resting hadn’t noticed. Sara barely waited until her forehead was cleaned and bandaged before she to was off out of the Med Bay and down the hall to Alex’s office. 

Walking into the office Sara shut the door behind her before wrapping her arms around the other woman’s waist pulling her close. 

“Kara will be fine you saved her. Like a crazy person you took a bullet to the arm.”

“Yeah, that’s my job, Sara. I protect Kara.”

“Yes, but who protects you, Alex?”

Seeing Alex shrug Sara sighed before pressing a kiss to her head. 

“So your team's taking us out to one of the local bars. Will you be there?”

“Uh yeah sure I have to make a stop but I will be there.

Alex lied smoothly. She had failed Kara had gotten hurt she had to make the pain stop. She had to punish herself. Smiling at Sara Alex turned around in the blonde's arms kissing her deeply before pulling away.

“Thanks for coming I missed you.”

Alex said before gathering her stuff and leaving the office. Sara didn’t know why but she felt something was off with Alex. Before she could follow her Mick and Jax popped in telling her Kara was awake and everyone was heading to the bar. Nodding she decided she’d just go have some fun and pull Alex aside at the bar. 

It wasn’t until her second beer she realized Alex wasn't’ coming. Pulling Winn aside she got Alex’s address from him grabbing Mick before heading over there. Walking up to the apartment Sara knocked once before trying the door. Seeing it open she ventured in calling for Alex. 

“Hey, Danvers you here? It’s Sara and Mick.”

She called as she looked around the studio apartment. She was about to call Kara when Mick pointed to the bathroom door. Walking over Sara opened the door, the sight that greeted her felt like a punch in the gut. The strong, dorky beautiful woman she had met on Earth X was on the tile floor staring at cuts on her legs and arm. Surprising them both Mick stepped forward. Taking a towel he wrapped it around Alex’s arm then threw her over his shoulder as he carried her to the bed. 

“It’s ok Hotter Danvers we’ll get you cleaned up. “

He said before leaving Alex with Sara as he raided the bathroom for supplies. When he found them he handed them to Sara then he headed back and cleaned up the bathroom best he could. By the time he was done Alex was bandaged up in her Pajamas staring off into space. 

“You know how I got my name right?”

Alex looked at him before shaking her head no.

“Oh, Skirt never told you, Well I burned my family alive and I like to light things on fire. Anyways after my family died… I I couldn’t deal with the memories and kept blaming myself. I should have woke them up. Anyways burning myself made the thoughts stop. So I get it that’s all.”

“My First time was a few weeks after my dad well died we thought he was dead he’s not but long story. I blamed Kara this alien came and was dumped on me and then my dad was gone. I was taking it out on her, mom was going off on me. One night I got so mad I broke a glass and my hand got cut. The calm I felt was like nothing I felt before. I was in control again, well long story short Kara and I got closer and she became my sister. She caught me one night she was crying I was crying she made me promise not to do it again..So I never did.”

“What made you start again Alex?” 

Sara asked as she took the agent’s hand in her own.

“It’s so dumb really. After Earth- X I was ok during the day but at night missing Maggie the things we saw all came back. Kara was there for me but I saw her happy moving past her broken heart and what happened to her. She almost died she didn’t need me being a burden. So I stopped drinking a lot around her and just pretended I was fine. Then I heard them one night thinking I was working late they were meeting up with Maggie. I mean I can’t blame them, unlike me Maggie is fun and exciting and I’ve already lost the bar it was hers first now my friends. Even Kara. I just fell apart. I cut and I was calm. I fake it at work then come home drink and cut. Some days eating is even a struggle. But Kara it's fine she doesn’t know she thinks I’m seeing someone. I tell her I'm dating..”

“Skirt just doesn’t know your dates are with a bottle of scotch and a razor ?”

“No, she doesn’t. To think I left Maggie because she didn’t want to have kids. Me a mom that is funny. I can’t even take care of myself. Look I’m sorry I’m not good company right now. I just want to sleep.”

Alex whispered as she laid her head down on her pillow. Sara pressed a kiss to her head before pulling Mick into the kitchen. 

“I”m staying you go to the bar have fun.”

“Ok Boss call me if you need me. Feel better Hotter Danvers as for Maggie fuck her and if your friends want to spend time with her over you fuck them too. You kicked some serious Nazi ass and lived to tell the tale your bad ass Danvers don’t forget that.”

Once Mick left Sara kicked off her shoes and slipped into some of Alex’s old clothes. Then she got into the bed and curled behind her. 

“I got you, Alex, just sleep I will be here when you wake up.”

“Thanks, Sara it’s nice to not fall asleep alone.”

 

As the two women fell asleep Mick marched himself back to the bar. Walking over to the group he took a seat before ordering a beer. 

“So hey did you guys find Alex?”

Kara asked with a smile.  
“Yeah, Skirt we did. Sara stayed behind I wasn't invited to the show.”

Mick said with a smirk. He was an asshole at times but he was also very protective and there was no way he was throwing Alex under the bus like that. 

“So Skirt maybe you can help me which one is Maggie?” 

He growled as he took in the women around the table. 

“I’m Maggie how do you know me?”

“Oh, I don’t know you just heard all about you.” 

He said with a glare. Taking a long sip of beer he got up and walked over to Winn and Jax. 

“Are we making friends again Mick?”

Jax joked as he tossed him a pool cue.

“Nope, not at all. Friends and Mick don’t mix. I have family that’s it.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and Kudos they encourage me to keep writing! Hope you like this chapter. Less dark more Alex dealing with her issues.

Alex groaned her whole body in pain. Between the injuries she had sustained out in the field and the ones, she had given herself Alex was wishing she hadn't woken up. That was until she sat up and saw a very familiar blonde in her kitchen cooking. 

“You're still here?”

“Yeah, where did you think I’d be? I mean between the two of us you're the one who sneaks out in the morning.”

Turning red Alex slide out of her bed and headed to the island. 

“You don’t have to stay. I wasn’t trying to kill myself.”

“I never thought you were. I am here because I want to be.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you Alex… a lot I am thinking that another person out there for me is you.”

Sara said as she slide a mug of coffee her way. Alex took the mug and took a long sip before turning her gaze back to Sara.

“I think I agree.. As sad as I am over Maggie I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“Great so we will date the time traveling ex-assassin and super girl's hero… what could go wrong?”

“So many things Sara.. we can’t even text like a normal couple.”

“Actually we can now. I had Mick steal your phone yesterday and asked your nerd to work with mine and well now we can text no matter where we are.”

Sara said as she pulled out Alex’s phone with a smirk.

“Well inter space sexting who knew such a thing existed.”

“Ah, so you do have a naughty side to you, Danvers.”

Alex just huffed as she took a seat on her couch holding her mug close to her. Sara had seen her at her worst most weak point and she wasn’t sure why she was still here. It was comforting and disconcerting all wrapped into one. She was lost in thought when she felt Sara next to her. Before she could react her mug was taken from her hands and placed on the coffee table. Then Sara’s lips were against hers in a tender kiss. 

“You are strong Alex never forget that. It’s ok to need help.” 

“ I know I'm just so used to being the strong one, It’s like I don't know how to ask for help.”

“Well good for you-you're not asking. I'm offering. First things first I know you're not going to therapy so I was thinking we meet halfway?”

“Halfway what do you mean?”

“Well, no therapy but we get rid of the alcohol and you agree to send me pictures of your body every day..”

“Ah, you just want to see my oh how did you put it? Beautiful body?”

“Yes and make sure you're being safe.”

“Before I agree anything else you have in mind?”

“I think it's not good for you to close yourself off. So also promise you will try and go out with your sister as friends once a week.”

“ I would Sara but I think they would rather hang with Maggie..”

“She's your sister family first… Just say you will try?” 

“I will try and I agree to all the other terms.”

“Great go shower and I will get back cooking breakfast.” 

“Sounds like a plan as much as I'd love for you to join me. I'm not ready I'm too ugly.”

“You Alex Danvers are the most beautiful woman I ever met.. scars don't take away from your beauty.”

“Thank you, Sara, I needed to hear that babe.”

Alex said as she pressed a soft kiss to Sara's lips. Then she grabbed her coffee before heading into the bathroom. The water had just turned on when there was a knock on the door. Heading over to the door Sara opened it revealing Maggie. Not knowing the woman Sara leaned against the door waiting for her to speak.

“Uh hi is Alex here?”

“Who's asking?”

“Maggie Sawyer we are .. friends.”

“ Ah so you're Maggie. I know all about you.” 

“That is the second time I've heard something along those lines. I am guessing Alex hasn't said good things? “. 

“Actually not that it’s any of your business but all she said was it didn’t work out between the two of you because you couldn’t agree on kids. I don’t like you because you hurt my girlfriend. And what are you playing at taking her friends? “

“Look what happened between us was personal I came to make sure she was ok.”

“Sure you did.. It seems you came by after I am guessing Mick or Jax spilled that we were together. So you're here out of jealousy, not actual concern.”

“I am here to make sure Alex is ok.. I mean dating an assassin. She is obviously not thinking clearly.”

Sara hearing that headed out into the hall closing the door behind her. Not seeing Mick or Kara down the hall she glared at Maggie.

“One it’s ex assassin. Two you don’t know a thing about me or what has transpired between us. One thing I am sure you know about Alex is she has a big heart and she doesn’t trust easily. So the fact I’m here says volumes. She isn’t fine she is struggling you were her first love I’d be worried if she was fine. I will be here for her you want to do her a favor. Give her her friends and sister back. She needs Kara. “

“Yeah she doesn’t let people in but I doubt you and her will last you don’t look like the kid type Lance.”

“You're right I never thought about having my own kids. Now that she is in my life I am damn sure considering them. Until we decide together we have Mick and Kara to look after.”

“Look I just want to see her for a moment.” 

“She’s sleeping I will let her know you stopped by.” 

Sara said not moving from her spot in front of the door. After a five minute stare down Maggie gave up and with a huff turned to leave. Once she was gone Sara turned and noticed the two that had been eavesdropping. 

“I”m making breakfast if you guys want any. Alex is in the shower but should be out in a few. “

While she was annoyed at Kara for letting Alex down she knew how much she meant to Alex and she would always make sure she felt welcome in their lives. When Alex finally emerged she let Kara hug her before taking a seat at the table. 

“Alex, what happened to you last night?”

“Eh just didn’t feel well Kara. Then Sara came over it’s no big deal.”

Alex answered not meeting her sister’s eyes. 

“Oh for fuck's sake Hotter Danvers just tell skirt you know she picked your ex over you.”

“And Skirt is sorry. Now let’s make up and eat.”

Mick said before grabbing himself some eggs. 

Kara scooted over to Alex pulling her sister into her arms.

“I”m so sorry Alex you know I love you is that why you haven’t come around at all lately?”

“Yeah after hearing you guys keeping it a secret I just figured you would rather hang out with her than me. I can’t blame you. She isn’t all down and doesn’t drink too much.”

“Hey you're my sister and I love you I will fix this I promise.”

Not wanting to fight anymore Alex just nodded before pulling away and serving herself some eggs. Knowing that meant Alex was done talking for now Kara served herself some breakfast before turning her attention to their guest.”

“So how long are you planning on staying Sara? I mean now that you're dating Alex…”

“Well, we're going to do long distance for a while and figure it out as we go. “

“How will you communicate ?”

“Oh, I got our nerd to work with yours. Their phones can now text no matter the period we are in.”

Mick told Kara quite proudly. Alex smiled before squeezing Kara’s hand. 

“Don’t worry about me Kara I will be fine and I promise no more always hiding away ok?”

“Ok and you tell me if you're upset?”

“Promise there is one thing you should know. Sara and I talked I am giving up drinking for now. It’s not helping me and I am tired of waking up with hangovers.”

“That is great news, Alex, I am so so proud of you!”

“Will you be going to meetings? “

“I haven’t decided I think I can do it without them. With your help.”

“Well you know I’m here Alex for you always.”

Kara said happily. The rest of the breakfast was eaten in a comfortable silence, ending when Kara was called away for some Supergirl business. Once she was gone Sara sent Mick back to the ship to get the team ready. Before he left, however, he hugged Alex telling her once more that he had her back. When the pair was finally alone Alex smirked over at Sara.

“You know that one confuses me.”

“I know Mick is all tough I’m an asshole to like everyone. With you he’s all Buddy Buddy, watch out he’s going to make you his new partner in crime.”

“Eh robbing banks just isn’t for me. I’d have a panic attack and end up turning myself in.”

“You Danvers are such a dork.”

“Loveable dork though right?”

“Of course.. Now let's get to getting rid of the booze before I have to leave.”

Nodding Alex cleaned up their breakfast dishes before pulling out most of her stash. Watching as Sara poured it all down the drain. It took everything Alex had to not try and stop her. When her place was alcohol-free Sara took Alex’s hands in hers pulling her close. 

“You are strong Alex you can do this and no matter what that head of yours tells you. You are not alone. You have me, Kara, Mick, your friends. They were your friends first don’t let Maggie push you out. Promise me tonight you will go to Kara’s.”

“I promise should be interesting its movie night. Use to be sister night but things have changed.“

Alex said with a sad shrug. Pressing a long kiss to her lips Sara squeezed her girlfriends hands once more before pulling away.

“Ok, I will be back to see you in two weeks. I don’t care what’s going on. Till then lean on your sister. If sister night is what you need tell her.” 

Nodding Alex kissed Sara once more stopping when her phone went off. 

“Alien activity I got to go. Text me?”

“Will do and I expect pictures sexy.”

Sara said as the pair headed out turning separate ways as they reached the street. Sara didn’t want to admit it but she was scared to leave Alex so soon. But this was their life and she knew deep down Alex could fight the urges she like most people just needed something to fight for. Sara just hoped their relationship was enough of a reason to fight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took awhile because I didn't want to write Kara to uncaring. More circumstances that made her look uncaring. Also with Maggie i'm not trying to make her the villain but in this story, she isn't Alex's savior. I think I found the right balance hope you like it! Also, trigger warning for this chapter Self-Harm, Non-intentional almost dying and drinking.

Alex’s first day without any Alcohol wasn’t too bad. At work, she was a bit out of it but not enough to screw anything up. However, by the time her day ended she was itching for a beer. Remembering her promise though Alex headed to Kara’s instead of home to her empty apartment. She picked up some pot stickers on the way hoping they showed Kara she was fine about the whole Maggie thing. She really wasn’t but what was she going to say. She couldn’t force them to stop seeing her ex. 

Really she didn’t want to think about, thinking about it upset her and when she was upset she wanted to drink. Tonight she just wanted to spend time with her sister and her friends and just forget about her troubles. She hated the fact that she was running late but hey late was better than hiding away in her apartment getting drunk. 

While Alex was running late Kara had headed home to get everything ready. Winn and Lena and Sam were already there. She had just finished putting out the snacks when there was a knock. Telling Winn to get it Kara froze when she heard Maggie’s voice. 

“James we need to talk right now!”

Kara hissed before smiling at Maggie as she dragged her friend out of her apartment. 

“She can’t be here James please you have to get her to leave.”

“Come on you said Alex wasn’t going to come till later by then I’m sure she will be gone. It will be fine Kara. “

“Look she has to be gone before Alex gets here understand me?”

“Yeah yeah I do. I promise.”

“Fine, then she can stay for a little bit.”

Kara hissed before heading back inside. Now instead of being calm and happy, she was on edge. If Alex came early she’d be so upset. As they got into the games she calmed down to the point she was actually having fun. She had just had her turn when she heard her door open. Seeing Alex there in the doorway her eyes went wide.

“Alex you're early!”

Kara squeaked before shooting a glare at James.

“Uh yeah meeting ended early, I brought food….”

She handed the pot stickers over to Kara as her eyes fell on Maggie. Her heart clenching she plastered a smile on her face. 

“Hey everyone.” 

Taking a seat next to Winn Alex willed the tears not to fall. This was so dumb. Sara had been wrong she didn’t matter anymore. As she sunk into her own head the need to drink became almost unbearable. She played a few rounds but soon she found herself not caring about putting on a front. She was about to make an excuse to leave when Maggie asked if they could talk outside. Seeing James and Kara in a heated disagreement Alex figured it was perfect timing she’d talk to Maggie then leave. Heading out of the apartment she leaned against the door not really meeting her ex’s eyes. 

“So what did you want to talk about Maggie?”

“Well about us.. I heard what happened at your friends wedding are you ok?”

“Yeah you know fought Nazi’s and saved Kara. Normal day really.”

Alex said her voice dripping with sarcasm. She wasn’t sure why she was so mad. Maybe it was how Maggie had basically replaced her. She could leave this earth and no one would care. Not even her own sister. Ignoring Alex’s tone Maggie pressed on.

“So I know it has to be weird to see me here… I’m sorry I just they invited me and their like family to me too. If it’s weird I can go.. I was just thinking maybe this is a sign.”

“A sign ?”

“Come on Alex I went to your apartment that blonde she’s not right for you. We belong together. We are real. What we have is real. You shouldn’t throw it away over some notion.”

“It’s not some notion Maggie. I want kids.”

“Though do you really?”

“I mean people talk plus I know you, Danvers. Your drinking and how you close yourself off when things get too emotional. Wouldn’t make a great mom... I mean your shaking I am guessing you can’t wait for a shot.”

Swallowing a lump that formed Alex leaned in glaring at her ex.

“You don’t know me at all Sara is amazing she accepts me for me. She is everything your not. Just stay away from me. You want my friends and family fine have them. Just leave me the hell alone.”

With that, she turned and headed towards the stairs.

“Hey don’t go what do I tell Kara.?”

“If she actually cares tell her I am going home.”

Alex said before taking the stairs down the stairs and out the door into the cold night air. Pulling her coat over her body Alex headed into the first Liquor store she saw buying two bottles of scotch she headed home. Then for the first time since forever, she locked the sliding door and hid in the bathroom. She needed to be alone Kara made her choice. Now Alex was making hers uncapping the Scotch Alex took a long drink then another not stopping until the pain was muted. It wasn’t gone no but it was muted. Looking at herself in the mirror she realized Maggie was right she wasn’t mom material hell it seemed she wasn’t friend, sister or agent material either. 

Wanting to not feel Alex took her razor and popped out the blade. The first few cuts didn’t work, so she pressed hard and deeper. It wasn’t until she saw the blood now flowing too fast she realized she had messed up. She hadn’t wanted to die no… just stop the pain. Covering one arm with a towel she fumbled for her cell. Dialing 911 she told the operator she needed an ambulance before she let her eyes closed. 

She had come close to dying before maybe it wouldn’t hurt. She thought as she let the darkness take over.

Meanwhile, somewhere in time, Sara was pacing around the bridge. 

“I shouldn’t have left her Mick. Something doesn’t feel right… Why hasn’t she text me?”

“Maybe Hotter Danvers got held up at work. Just call her..”

“And seem desperate.”

“Boss just call her if you feel it in your gut then call.”

Nodding Sara pulled out her cell and pressed Alex’s name.

However, instead of her Alex picking up a nurse did. A nurse telling her that Alex had been admitted to the hospital for self-inflicted wounds. Cursing to herself Sara told Gideon to chart a course to 2017 National City. That’s it she was getting Alex and bringing her on the team. They needed someone new and Alex would be a great addition once she got her away from National City.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So glad you guys are liking this story. Here is the next chapter. :)

Alex groaned as she started to wake up. She hurt everywhere. It would seems she passed out once again. She was about to try and sit up when she realized she wasn’t home. No she was in a hospital. What the hell had happened last night. As it came back to her her eyes fell on Saras worried ones. 

“Your up.. I’d ask you how you are but I think I can guess.” 

Sara said as she sat on the bed and took Alex’s hand in hers. 

“You're here how did you even know?”

“Well I was all worried when you didn’t call something told me something had happened.. I thought you were ok what happened babe?”

Remembering the night before Alex tried to pull out of Sara’s grasp. However, instead of letting her Sara kicked off her shoes and got under the covers. 

“Remember I am not going anywhere. Alex tell me what happened.”

“Well I was going to Kara’s like I promised, but J’onn had some last minute budget meeting and well I told Kara I’d be late. I stopped to get her favorite and when I showed up Maggie was there. I couldn’t let them see how it affected me so I figured that I would play a few rounds then go home. But the need to drink became too much. So when I went to leave Maggie pulled me aside I think. Anyways she told me she thinks your wrong for me... I should be with her because I’d make a shit mom. Because of all my issues. Then the rest is blurry. Hell, she’s right I would make a crappy mom.”

Alex said before hiding her face in her arms. Tears were beginning to form when she heard a familiar gravelly voice.

“Two questions Hotter Danvers. One would you ever hit your kid? “

“No Never..”

“Question two would you make said kid feel like they were a mistake and should never have been born?”

“God knows I’d make sure they knew the world was a better place because they were in it.”

“Well then you need to get past this part in your life, yes but you will be an amazing mother. Even better than most. Want to know why? You have seen the worst felt like you didn’t matter so you won’t ever let them feel like that.”

“Thanks, Mick you always know what to say..”

“Not a problem but I will let you two talk I can’t wait for you to join the Legends it will be great. Feel better.”

Mick said before leaving the hospital room. Alex waited until the door closed to turn to Sara. 

“Why does he think I’m joining your team? Does he know something I don’t?”

“Well I wish he would have let me start but yes I think you should resign or take some time from the DEO your not happy here. If you stay I’m scared well lose you for good. Come join the Legends help me keep the world safe. You can nerd out with Ray and kick ass alongside me. Just until your feeling better. Then if you still feel you belong here I’ll retire and come back with you.”

“Wait you are saying whichever I choose you will be my side?”

“Yes, Alex however if you choose wrong I will just kick your ass.”

“No no, your right I mean one to time travel that is like the ultimate bucket list thing to do! Plus I don’t feel at home here not anymore. Not after last night. I almost died. “

“Yes but your alive so this is your second chance.”

Nodding Alex kissed Sara before falling back to sleep. The next week or so was hard Alex convincing the hospital she wasn’t suicidal it had just been an accident was easier said than done. Kara had tried to visit but had been sent away by Mick every time. Finally, when she was discharged She headed into the DEO and handed J’onn her resignation. This part of her life was done it was time to move on. Heading home she froze when she saw a few legends in her apartment. 

“Figure we’d need help packing you up. We will decide what your taking then we can store the rest.”

“Sounds like a plan I told J’onn I quit well gave him my resignation he wasn’t happy. “ 

Alex said as she took off her DEO badge and started to pack some clothes. The team helped her pack and most of the apartment was boxed up ready for storage by time Kara came flying through the door. 

“You can’t leave Alex. Please this is your home were ..”

“Ah, no Skirt you don’t get to talk to her not now. Hotter Danvers is our nerd now so run along and find yourself a new one.”

Before Kara could answer in came James and Winn and J’onn all arguing with different members of the Legends. It was surreal people were fighting over her. Where was this concern when she was losing herself. Taking a breath Alex walked in between Sara, Mick and her sister.

“Kara come on you have to admit we haven’t been right not lately.”

“I know I’m sorry about Maggie. I just can’t say no..”

“It’s not just her Kara.. look I’m good at hiding it. But I have been suffering a lot. “

“Yeah, you have been drinking too much. Look I will be a better sister just don’t leave.”

Before Alex could answer Sara was in Kara’s face. 

“No well yes she has been but she almost died! She has been hurting herself and that night after I left she almost died! Where the hell were you Kara?” 

Hearing she had actually almost lost her sister and hadn’t known she had failed her sister. 

“Alex I’m so sorry I will do better. I promise.”

“I know Kara and it's not you.. Look I need this and you have to let me go. Please, you have to let me do this.”

“What am I going to do without you?”

“Well not like you missed her much Skirt?”

Mick said before heading out with some of Alex’s boxes. 

“Kara you can contact me if you have to. Keep my phone the one Winn fixed up ok?”

“And you're coming back right?” 

“Kara we both will be back. But Alex needs this.”

Nodding in agreement Alex accepted Kara’s bone-crushing hug. 

Then she hugged J’onn and Winn even James. 

“I am not accepting your resignation we’ll call it a Sabbatical ok ?”

“Sounds good boss.”

“I love you guys I do.” 

When her old team finally left she helped Jax load her stuff then drive it over to storage. Handing her key to her landlord made it all real. She was actually leaving National City.. Kara. She couldn’t leave her her job was to protect her. Alex’s brain raced. Sara seeing Alex start to twitch a bit knew she was having second thoughts. Sending the team ahead with Alex’s one bag Sara came up behind her girlfriend wrapping her arms around her waist. 

“You're not doing anything wrong Alex. You don’t always have to watch out for Kara she is an adult and perfectly capable of watching out for herself.”

“I know but it’s all I know Sara.”

“I get that but in looking out for her you almost lost yourself. She’s sad now but she will understand you had to do this for you. And once you're better we will come back here.”

“Wait we. “

“Yes we babe we're in this together. When it’s time to come to come home I will be right by your side.”

“What about your team?” 

“I will appoint a new captain when the time comes. For now, I get the best of both worlds. My team, my ship and my sexy girlfriend.”

Smiling shyly Alex kissed Sara.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you but I am so glad you came into my life. “

“I could say the same about you now lets roll babe.”

Smiling Alex took Sara’s hand as they walked out of her apartment and to the roof. After one last look back at her old city, Alex turned and followed Sara onto the Waverider ready to start her new adventure.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this update. My muse ran away. But its back and you guys get some more. Let me know what you guys think and maybe would like to see. Kudos and comments help keep me writing :)

Time really did go slower on the waverider Alex had just gotten off of a conversation with her sister and couldn’t believe how much time had passed already back home. Heading up to the bridge Alex smiled when she saw Sara all alone. Coming up behind her Alex wrapped her arms around the blonde’s waist. 

“How was your conversation with Kara?”

“It went she and I are finally getting back to where we were. Minus us being so codependent on each other. She said almost four months had passed it's getting chilly there again. And the best thing ever was me telling her how we kicked some Viking ass. It was awesome she almost sounded proud and not worried anymore.”

“That’s great babe I am happy you guys are better but remember..”

“I know I am here to focus on me than us. So tell me what has you so serious?”

“Well, we have a few higher level anachronisms I am not sure which we should fix first. We can get the dinosaurs out of Egypt.. Or stop the Blackbeard and his band of pirates from trying to take over France. Last but not least the British army is marching on Starling City.”

“Well it’s simple we save your home first then we worry about the rest. Or we split up you have enough of us, don’t you? Why are you questioning it though what’s really up?”

“I don’t know I guess I’ve been missing Laurel and I know if some asshole she dated took me away from her I’d hate them. I took you from Kara. I know it was to save you..but I saw her face it sticks with me.”

“Ok hey, one you are not an asshole. You are a sassy Captain. My sassy sexy Captain. Two I was losing myself back home. You, Sara Lance, saved me. Kara gets it she just misses me. I told her we’d be home to visit for the holidays. I should have asked but she was so happy. Just a meal. I am sure I can handle a meal. My mom won’t be there. Plus you by my side I can handle anything.”

“Holidays could be fun but I can’t leave the team… they're my family.”

“Mine to I told Kara we’d all be coming, she was all excited. It will be great Ray can nerd out with Winn, Zari and Amaya can chill with Lena and Kara and Nate can chill with James. Mick will just be Mick.”

“Sounds about right so let’s go take care of some pirates. Maybe after we're done I can take you on a romantic date in Paris. “

“Pirates and Dinosaurs I’m so in.” 

Alex said as she kissed Sara pulling away when she heard the team approach.

“Oh, there we go, Hotter Danvers, sucking up to Boss again.”

Mick said as he took a spot between the two women. Alex shoved Mick before settling back in her place as Sara began to speak.

“Ok, guys we have three Anachronisms so Amaya and Zari you two are off to Egypt to deal with some dinosaurs. Mick your with me and Alex were going back to France to deal with some pirates. Ray Nate and Jax head home and deal with a rogue British army. Let’s get these handled and keep the Time Bureau off our asses. Be safe and let’s kick some ass. Once we're done were heading to National City for the holidays.”

“Why am I always stuck with you two?”

Mick growled as he went to grab his gun. A little bit of bickering and he was fine by the time the trio stepped down in France. The small team worked together taking on Blackbeard and his crew of pirates. They had almost defeated them all when a straggler attacked at the right moment bringing Alex down as his sword slide into her side. As Sara rushed to her girlfriend's side Mick took the pirate out with his fire gun. Taking over the memory wiping as he watched his boss fall apart over the bleeding woman in her arms. Once they were back through the portal he helped Sara get Alex back to the waverider. Holding her until he got her into the medbay hooked up to Gideon. 

“Gideon fix her please I can’t lose her..”

Sara said still covered in Alex’s blood. Zari and Amaya who had just gotten back to the ship were the ones who got Sara away from Alex’s side long enough to change. Once Mick was alone with the unconscious agent he walked over to her. 

“Ok enough of you trying to leave us, Hotter Danvers. Boss loves you and if you die there will be no controlling her. Some come back I’m sorry I was a dick earlier. I just like to tease you know me.”

“You know you don’t show this side of you to many people Mick.”

Alex whispered as her eyelids opened slowly. 

“As I tell Kara I am too stubborn to die. I have to outlive a frickin alien dying just isn’t on the table for me.”

Mick was about to call for Sara when he was pushed out of the way as his blonde captain almost lunged herself at Alex. Alex winced a bit as she put her arm around Sara holding her best she could.

“I’m ok Sara. Gideon fixed me right up. I am a bit sore but I’m fine. I’m here.”

“I looked back and saw you on the ground I thought I lost you… I can’t lose you, Alex.”

“You're not going to lose me, Sara. As I told Mick I am too stubborn to die. Just ask Jo’nn.”

“Don’t joke, Alex, this is serious you were bleeding and not moving. “

“I’m sorry Sara I’m here I’m ok. That stupid pirate got me. But I am ok.”

After looking her over Sara cupped her face with her calloused hands. 

“I love you Alex Danvers so much. WIll you marry me.” 

Sitting up best she could Alex held up a finger.

“Look I’ve been here and it went oh so bad so I need to know before I answer.. Do you want kids?”

Sara hearing the question glared then nodded as she laughed out loud.

“Yes, Alex a whole little brood of mini Danvers.”

“Then yes Sara Lance I will marry you. “

Leaning in Sara pressed her soft lips against Alex’s kissing her deeply. Alex had just begun to deepen it when Gideon decided to pick that moment to butt in.

“Actually Captain Lance with her hooked up I can use your DNA and mix it with Mrs. Danvers and then I can inject her tonight..”

Seeing Alex’s eyes go wide with a mixture of shock and fear. Sara unhooked her from Gideon before helping her out of the chair and into her arms. 

“Thanks, Gideon but not tonight when we are ready we will tell you for sure.” 

Sara said as she told the team they had the rest of the night off but to not get too drunk or into trouble. They had to be on their best behavior when they went to Alex’s earth the next day. Once they were in her quarters Sara laid Alex on the bed before taking off her boots and her pants. When Alex was all tucked in Sara undressed before she joined her fiance in bed. 

“I will get you a ring when we're on your earth..”

“I don’t need a ring I have you. You really want to marry me? I am not trying to doub your love for me. I just know tonight was scary for you. You don’t have to marry me to keep me around.”

“Hey no I meant it. Alex I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You taught me to love again and almost losing you for a second time tonight was just the kick in the ass I needed. I love you I want it all kids, the house the dog. When the holidays are over I will appoint a new Captain and we can start our life together.”

“On your earth or mine?” 

“Yours. You won’t be home unless Kara is there. Plus we can visit my dad and Oliver whenever we want with Cisco’s glitch thing.”

“Then it’s settled Miss Lance we are now officially engaged. My mom is so gonna lose it. “

“You seem almost happy about the idea of that should I be worried.”

“Very worried she is all about gay pride and loving her daughter. You will be her third daughter.”

“Sounds like a blast. As long as I have you and our brood I will be just fine. I may have to come help the team when they really need it but for all intent and purposes I will be retired.”

“I get you all to myself? Oh, how did I get so lucky?”

“Well we went to a wedding and one night became a lifetime. Now rest tomorrow we have a big day. The legends at a family function..”

“Oh lord Mick and Lena Luthor I am going to need all the rest I can get. I love you, Sara Lance. Sorry, I scared you.”

“Love you too Alex Danvers. This is twice now you have used up your Quota.” 

Sara joked as she wrapped her arms carefully around Alex pulling her as close as she could without causing her pain.

“Your safe in my arms always.”

Sara whispered before sleep finally took over.


End file.
